Tears, Health Insurance, and Luck

I had my first real pregnancy cry today, and it wasn't over something cute or sad. I mean, I've come close to bursting into tears over the thought of my husband holding our freshly squeeze baby, but so far I've managed to keep my cool. No, this was because I was completely overwhelmed. Pregnancy has not been fun for me so far. Head cold, nausea, general discomfort, never ending fatigue, bronchitis, and now a bladder and yeast infection... yes at the same time. The bladder infection was news to me. I had none of the traditional symptoms except pain in my stomach (which is scary for a never-been-pregnant-before woman), and the yeast infection is from the antibiotic I was taking for the bronchitis. All of this and I can't get proper health insurance. The health insurance is what sent me over the edge today.

A nurse had mentioned something about a "spousal refusal form" as a way of helping me get access to medicaid, which is really my only option at this point. So I went to my local DSS and asked for the form only to be told "we don't do that anymore." I went back to my car and cried right there in the parking lot. 

Now I understand why they don't do that any more. It's a tricky way to get around having a spouse that earns a decent income. I'm not usually about doing these kind of tricky things, but the problem is that I've been put into a corner. I need health insurance, and no one will cover me. There aren't many viable options for middle income pregnant women. 

So I'm back to square one with the health insurance, which basically means we're going to go very deeply into debt to make sure we have a healthy baby and Mama. So far my medical bills have been close to $3000. I don't make that much in a month. And it's not like we don't have bills. We might be middle income, but we don't have the luxury of middle income parents who helped us get our feet under us. We have rent, car payments, credit card bills, student loans, and  utilities. Oh and we have to eat. I know we're not poor. I'm not, as my grandmother would say, pleading poverty. I know what it is like to be poor, and this isn't it, but we don't live high on the hog either. I mean, we don't even have cable television. I've tried to keep our expenses low. I use coupons when shopping, and don't buy anything we don't need. 

You might be thinking "Then why did you go and get pregnant?" Well, I obviously didn't know that getting health insurance would be such a problem. I actually thought I'd be able to get on my husband's insurance. Funny thing is though that pregnancy isn't considered a life changing event. Tell that to my uterus! The birth of a child is considered life changing, but pregnancy isn't. The problem with this kind of thinking is that in order to have a happy, healthy baby, you need to get prenatal care, especially if you have a high risk pregnancy. (My pregnancy is not considered high risk, but I am at a great risk of complications like gestational diabetes because I'm over weight.)

Today at the doctors, I heard the babies heart beat. I turned to the doctor/resident and said, "Can you make sure there's only one in there?"

"Why? Are you predisposed?"

"No, but it would just make sense with the way my life's been going lately."

I don't think she heard two heart beats, but she didn't listen very hard. It'd be just my luck.