We had an ultrasound! It was so cool to see the baby. The best part was seeing the legs and arms moving around inside of me.
We also found out that we're having a boy! Damian is thrilled, and I find myself wondering what it will be like to raise a boy. Those of you that have read my other blog know that I have strong opinions about how women are treated and molded in our society. The fact is that women are encouraged to be cooperative to the point of submission, while men are encouraged to dominate and to take control. I mentioned to someone recently that I feel like I know how to help a girl be a strong feminist who stands up for the things she believes in, but how do I raise my son to both stand up for what he believes while still being cooperative and respectful. How do I teach my son, who will get so many messages from television, movies, and the internet about how to treat women, to do what he can to subvert this culture? And on top of that, how do I help him resist racism, classism, and homophobia? I honestly don't know.
He's growing! I'm growing! When I had the ultrasound, he was about 6 inches, and now (according to reputable baby websites) he should be about 11 inches and over a pound. My stomach is getting bigger every time I look at it. I can feel him moving around inside me regularly now and Damian might even have felt one particular ferocious movement once. It becomes more and more real every day, and I become more and more paralyzed with fear. I hope this is easier the second time. I would like to have more than one, at least that's what I'm thinking now. I reserve the right to change my mind.
We decided on a baby name: Drake. For me, it was love at first sight. I like the sound and spelling and even better, I love that it means dragon, which fits nicely with our nerdiness. Damian approached the name more cautiously, but he went through hundreds of baby names and couldn't find one that he liked more. He is very picky about boy names.
In non-baby news, I think I'm ready to start writing again. I sat down the other day planning to just do some scribbling. I asked Damian what I should write about and he said, "I don't know. Fried chicken." A story was born. It's not fantasy, at least I don't think it is, but I like it. I haven't quite figured out my main character. I think I need to make her younger, but it feels good to write it, and feels good to have my pen in my hand.
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